One Letter Please
by Therewasanoddandodd
Summary: A short story of the shenanigans Pat has to go through to write a letter. Written while i was suffering from a cold.


One letter Please.

* * *

Wrote this while dying of a cold. Enjoy!

* * *

It's a dark night, I'm tired from all our traveling, and we're just in some kind of old dingy motel on the side of the road. The room…seems clean enough but I'm not brave enough to even get completely under the covers.

Looking over to my small case I actually get a bit of a smile. Rey's just chilling out so I can do a couple of things…namely pull out some clean stationary and envelopes. It's high time I wrote someone a letter.

…You should really know who.

I sat at the creaky wobbly table. One leg somehow was missing a whole bottom chunk…I set my clean paper down, pull out my pen and… just start writing my feelings.

* * *

"Dear Geo,

It's been a long time hasn't it? I still have guilt over the whole thing but…  
Anyways me and Rey have been on the move. We just crossed the Floroma Fields; it's really pretty here. There are flowers for miles and miles! I thought Rey would ruin it for me but he just hung out in the back. Popped out once, looked around, sneezed and then hid back. I actually got to stay there all day!

But now we're in an old motel. The water's not working in the sink, and I don't trust the shower. A shame. There nothing but dirt trails and farms for the next few miles and we're kinda grimy. But this stop has a post office so…I thought I'd take advantage of it.

I wish for nothing more than to talk to you again. You're my one friend in the world and…because in a sense myself I can't even…

ACK positive positive! I'm Sorry! Uh…I've been trying to get a hobby. Sewing is about the only thing I've made progress on. Everything else Rey thinks is Girly, but sewing up patches is necessary so… teehee. Other than grinding on Burger Quest 3 (I am so close to max classes I can TASTE IT) I haven't been able to do much.

So how is it over in Echo Ridge? How are your studies? What's going on in general before I ask to many questions? I'm just very excited to hear from you! …you know if….you're not mad. If….your mad I completely understand.…if I keep going I'll mess up so…I'll stop.

Sincerely hopefully still your old friend,

Patrick Sprigs.

P.S. Rey got a hobby but I don't know what it is."

* * *

I check the spelling 20 times, I check if everything I really want to say is on there. Of course I can't fit everything but…it's as close as perfect as I can really get away with.

But then a frighteningly familure snap, and I find my letter torn to shreds.

I sigh. And I write it again. This time I get it folded up and into the envelope before Rey comes out to rip it.

" _What are you doing? Quit it!"_

Not until I get this letter meanie.

Third time I barely get the first sentence down before there are poorly scrawled doodles of Geo being murdered, "That's just lame Rey…"

Next time it was….immensely detailed lovingly drawn images of Geo being horribly murdered. Perfect balance of blood and gore without looking tacky, medically accurate, and you could see life dimming out of his eyes. That… that threw me for such a loop I merely took it to our portable mini fridge and stuck it on there.

Ok. I still have some paper- oh. Rey took over and drew things on almost every last sheet. Great. I found the least…questionable drawing (it was a drawing of Gemini) and managed to write the whole letter down again. Then Rey took over.

Oh what now- eh? The letter is still here?

…I don't trust it what does it say…

* * *

"Dear Geo,

It's been a long time hasn't it? I still have great feelings over the whole thing but…

Anyways me and Rey have been on the move. We just crossed the Floroma Fields; it's really an allergy hell hole here. There are flowers for miles and miles! What assholes! I thought Rey would ruin it for me but he just saved my life. Popped out once, looked around, sneezed and then got us out of there before my nose was ripped off! You wouldn't have done anything that nice for me!

But now were in an old motel. The water's not working in the sink, and I don't trust the shower. Goshdamn it all to hell. There nothing but dirt trails and farms for the next few miles and we're kinda bored out of our minds. But this stop has a post office so…I thought I'd take advantage of it. Loser.

I wish for nothing more than to talk to you again. Laugh right in your face for your dweebish behaviors. You're my one hated rival in the world and…because in a sense myself I can't even kick your ass from here to Calcutta.

ACK positive positive! I'm Sorry! Uh…I've been trying to get a hobby. Sewing is about the only thing I've made progress on. Because I'm so girly and wussy like… teehee. Other than grinding on Burger Quest 3 (I am so close to max classes I can TASTE IT ** _I'M SO FUCKING CLOSE_** ) I haven't been able to do much.

So how is it over in Echo Ridge? What are your measurements? Are you still friends with those horrible life stealing succubuses? I'm just very excited to hear from you ass hat! Weak little daddy issues baby prick!

Sincerely,

Patrick Sprigs.

P.S. Rey got a hobby and it's the most badass thing ever."

* * *

There may have been a hand to my face. A quiet grown and then finding the second most 'acceptable' drawing (this one a slightly….er, suggestive one with me and Geo… _what does he want from me_ ) and I finally got the letter, wrote it, put it in the envelope and then RAN AS FAST AS HELL OUT OF THE ROOM GO GO GO!

Rey tried to take over but just felt flat on his face bringing control back to me, as I scrambled and finally got the letter in the box. He then proceeded to scream like he had been stabbed in failure. Funnily enough the scary old lady at the desk didn't even turn to look during his break down.

Eventually he picked himself up and collapsed on the bed.

I won this round at least.


End file.
